If I were the Princess of Darkness, Here is how I would destroy the world

Behold my evil plan.

1. I will confuse everyone as much as possible. Make it absolutely wrong to call anything wrong. That way, all the people will do evil all day and not see anything wrong with it. Convince everyone that “right” and “wrong” are all based on opinions, unless you're breaking the law.
2. I will convince the world that listening to their conscience is the worst thing they can ever do, because the conscience is nothing but programming designed to screw them out of pleasure in life and a smart person wants to feel good and not suffer.
3. Are fear, guilt, shame and suffering The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? Oh, no, not MY apocalypse. I will lull the world to sleep with happy melodies and sweet comforts. That way, they are putty in my hands. Don't think, sweet children. Don't ever feel bad. Feel good at all costs. It will cost you plenty, but it's worth it. Only help others if it makes you feel good yourself.
4. Jesus told Peter, “Get behind me, Satan,” when Peter expressed that he wanted to save Jesus from suffering. I say, Peter should have been assertive and said, “No, Jesus, I cannot let you be a masochist. Your sacrifice is needless, since human beings have never done anything wrong.”
5. Repeat after me, my sweet children, “You have never done anything wrong. You can never do anything wrong. Just don't tell anyone they are wrong, and all will be well.”
6. Do exactly what I say and you will not be responsible for any of your actions. So, you will be absolutely fine if there is some sort of cosmic “judgment,” which of course, we know will never happen, since God never judges anyone. Three things make you who you are: genes, your environment and my amazing guidance which will end all suffering in your life and make you rich, famous and successful.
7. Has everyone learned their lessons for today? Don't worry if you didn't understand it all. I will disseminate my teachings throughout international media, through television, film, magazines, popular books and the internet. You'll be bombarded thousands of times a day with opportunities to embrace the truth.
8. By the way, I really won't destroy the world. I will only destroy the things that make your world an unhappy place. People who don't agree with you. People who offend you.
9. Now, let yourself relax into sweet surrender.. to Yourself. Go ahead, everyone, become God in yourself. Feels good, huh?
10. If none of the above steps lead to my success, I will have a sex change operation to become the Prince of Evil, and try it all over again.

Where are all the women philosophers?

When I was just a little girl, my father and I would discuss religion and philosophy a lot. It was my favorite thing to do with him. I was so happy when he had a free minute to delve into the secrets of the universe. One particular summer afternoon, my father became unusually excited with something I said. He went and grabbed a compilation of the works of various philosophers. He showed me the table of contents. He said, “Do you see this? Do you know what all these philosophers have in common? They're all men. There is no major, well known female philosopher of the same caliber as these. You can be the first one.” 

Of course, this is a moment I could not possibly have forgotten. My father's love, how much he believed in me, even his admiration of my childish attempts to articulate difficult things, all of this has affected me to the core. Because of his encouragement, I've continually been an avid writer who loves to write about the meaning of God and life. 

Today, during mass, a flash of realization came to me. The reason for the “lack” of women philosophers is because they are mostly Catholic saints. Authors with a primarily Catholic focus are often avoided like the plague by protestant readers. I have never known a protestant who would be “caught dead” reading the writings of a pope, although so many of them have doctorates in philosophy as well as theology and many are philosophical geniuses. I have a 700 page copy of “The Theology of the Body” by Blessed Pope Paul II at home to attest to that. I read it sometimes to refresh my mind of concepts long forgotten and not well understood. 

Regardless of what I have come to consider bias, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Catherine of Sienna, and St. Hildegard of Bingen (my father's current favorite) are all theological and philosophical geniuses. They have earned the title “Doctor of the Church.” Those who bemoan the “sad fate of women” who are unable to become priests in the Catholic tradition may not have considered the tens of thousands of priests for the past 2000 years of church history who did NOT earn the title of “Doctor of the Church.” 

Certainly, this is an example of the equal value the Church gives to the sexes. The Church is female by her very nature. Therefore, having males as protectors and spouses to her makes sense. In today's world, sexes (now almost exclusively called genders) are becoming more and more blurred every day. Many people think this is a wonderful thing and there are lots of churches in the world that they may want to be a part of, but the Catholic Church does seek to preserve the original “man and woman created He them” condition of the humans he originally created. I love the sense of preserving an increasingly lost integrity of the concept of men and women.

I am proud to be a female and a philosopher in the sense of a “lover of knowledge.” I was inspired to write about this topic because this is the saint day of St. Teresa Benedicta (also known as Edith Stein), whose great heart in providing comfort and spiritual help for many starving to death in concentration camps is better known than her amazing philosophical mind. Today's homily reminded me of my father's words to me, back when I was a wide-eyed child in elementary school. Of course, I doubt I will become a “great” woman philosopher, but I will never stop seeking to know and live the truth. And I am proud to be a member of a Church that values what I most love to do above all else.

Learning the The Way Autistics Process Religious Beliefs

A study released last September showed that individuals with HFA (High Functioning Autism, including Asperger's Syndrome type) are more prone to be atheists. This study, from Boston University, sought to measure religious belief systems most prevalent in our population.

One of the correlations predicted from the literature (that was later confirmed in the study) was that because people with autism are primarily concrete and literal thinkers, problems arise with understanding parables and metaphors in religious text. I concur that this is partially the case with me. I draw a blank over many Biblical texts I read. Not a small blank. A big one. I can see how it would be easy for a lot of people on the spectrum to just give up in frustration. However, there are many ways around this. Because I work hard at understanding metaphorical text, I do eventually understand. Religious commentary helps. I have a friend with a degree in religion who can explain some things to me, although it often takes more time. I do best when a priest or minister begins with the concrete and slowly builds up to the metaphorical. I am so happy when I can follow the homily and I cherish how I can learn from it on deeper levels.

People may wonder why I spend so much time studying theological literature. I cannot stand not to “get” something, and it takes me longer to grasp it. By the time I grasp it, I understand the subject matter in far deeper detail than someone who grasped the concept immediately. My approach is the only approach I can use if I want to comprehend what I am hearing.

In other words, the neurotypical approach to religion doesn't work. I'm a contemplative. I like to just mull upon words, images, emotions, interactions. I love to just stay with a few verses of scripture or a sacred mystery and just soak it all in. It's candy. I'm a fish in water. I find that symbolism is wonderful and I especially like finding patterns in what I'm learning and reading. Catholicism just happens to be full of pattern after pattern that fits neatly into the one before. Taken from that angle, I can eventually grasp parables. I love poetry and poetry is about that. I just reach within my heart and jot down what images come up and what emotions are present and a few minutes later, I find that I have a complete metaphorical thought. It just happens.

Returning to the Boston study, the researchers also predicted that people on the autism spectrum would be drawn to rigid, doctrinal religions if they were drawn to religion at all. Autistic people crave structure, sameness, predictability. Ambiguity can lead to meltdowns for us. Why is this? I really don't know completely. My guess is that when life is so incredibly intense, sensorily, emotionally, socially, we don't have that much energy left over to “piddle around” with nuances of moral pondering. No, when that much intensity is going on, we need anchoring and grounding and it's well known that most autistics love rules, although that doesn't mean we're always sweet and compliant. Sometimes, we stubbornly set our own rigid rules and refuse to follow those in authority, but we always have a rule mindset. I don't even need to elucidate how Catholicism is great for helping with this.

Researchers also predicted that autistics would have problems with “supernatural” concepts and would appreciate a socially welcoming community, since we have problems navigating social situations and often have anxiety because of it. For me, “supernatural” concepts are not problematic. I've always believed in God and never questioned His existence. I think I got this from my dad, because he's the same way. Growing up with God being a fact makes the whole concept easier to take in. Also, I learned to pray to God as a person from a young age. I don't know if that has an impact on other autistics on the spectrum though.

I've always remembered reading in one of Dr. Temple Grandin's books that as she worked in the cattle industry, seeing that moment when a cow was a living, breathing animal and in the next moment (after quick slaughter) an immediate piece of meat was hard for her to understand. I know what she's talking about. Death itself is a “supernatural” concept to me.

As far as the social problems and anxiety go- big time. I needed unbelievable assurance that I was okay, that I belonged, that I would not be rejected and that I would not be looked down on. Luckily for me, teachers and priests were reliably able to encourage, support and nurture my growth. Also luckily for me, my conversion story was featured on the front page of the diocesan newspaper, and that helped me let go of a lot more anxiety. Still, I wish I didn't feel I need that kind of reassurance.

So, what were the overall results of the Boston research study? I did mention that atheism was the largest group (26%), followed by agnosticism (17%). Only 16% of autistics were able to embrace Christian beliefs. All others studied (around 40%) had their “own construction” of God. In other words, they came to their own conclusions and followed their own private revelations of what God is to them. In the neurotypical (non-autistic) control group, atheism was at 17% and agnosticism at 10%. Christianity was at 38% and “own construction” at only 6%. Understandable. People with autism are highly creative and innovative. It's been said we have to dance to our own drummer because we cannot hear the music (social information) everyone else is listening to.

Because I am a Christian, I would like to see religious organizations and churches learn how autistics think and process religious information. In doing so, outreach to this population can be far easier. For example, beginning with the concrete, literal and visual and slowly building up to the allegorical and metaphorical works best. Depending on level of functioning, this may take varied amounts of instruction. I also would like to see churches take a different approach to teaching religion. So many autistics are creative, powerful visualizers. Any sort of approach involving creative imagination or guided imagery could be immensely helpful. The main reason I've been able to integrate Christianity this time around in my life is that I've been using lots and lots of contemplative visualization.

Added note:

I would also like to note that I feel a weakness in the test was that the test instruments were influenced and built upon the concepts of Simon Baron-Cohen. His views are controversial now in the autism community. His “Systemizing Quotient” seems to apply far more to autistic males than females. His views of “theory of mind” and his “zero empathy” theory of autism are also being questioned and challenged a lot now.

Reference:
http://csjarchive.cogsci.rpi.edu/proceedings/2011/papers/0782/paper0782.pdf

Does religion have any purpose?

How easily I wrote off religion! Everyone knows it only gave guilt, fear, suffering and "sheep mentality" to the world. Who in their right mind would be drawn to it?

Me. When all else failed. I found out when you plug in those "negative emotions" where they fit, only then can the experience of humanity be made sacred. Where do these negative emotions fit? Generally, they go where and when things aren't good for me.

Along with lots of people, I thought sex was the answer to all my problems. After all, I had been taught in psychology and even from a few therapists I had, that sexual repression made people neurotic. Although repression could cause far more problems than sublimation, I had too many empty experiences trying to work all that out.

I wonder how it is that the rate of mental illness has mushroomed (along with the divorce rate) since the great "sexual revolution". People want their own freedom first, at all costs, regardless of how others are affected. Many of these people will quip that they aren't responsible for how others feel. Others will quip that their true freedom comes through sharing their love with others. Does that extend to difficult times of suffering or will the other person be dismissed since you believe suffering isn't healthy?

I've been where they are. I've defended a lot of selfish decisions. I had felt trapped in my life and I wanted to be free. I did just that. I became much more confident and successful in my life. When my idea of "success" collapsed, it was hard to find meaning. I kept being told that I could gain "personal power" and become all I ever wanted by believing in my "divine nature."

Had I not felt desperate, I wouldn't have stayed with this thinking as long as I did. Deep down, I remembered the story of the Garden of Eden and how the serpent told our original parents they would "be as gods". Deep down, I knew that making myself my own god was a type of idolatry. When I wasn't trying to become as God, I was idolizing gurus. Finally, I collapsed with guilt from it all.

My gurus would have cautioned me not to judge myself and to stop being a victim, through guilt, but if I had done that, I would have denied myself the greatest realization of my life.

After a five year period of re-examining these things, it became apparent to me that I had a desire to explore what Jesus had to offer. I learned more about contemplative prayer, lectio divina, and a Jesuit technique of visualizing yourself in the life of Jesus. I started reading scripture and saw how superficial my understanding had been before.

I had thought I could draw from the universal root of all religions, love, but I didn't have the best example available of how to live that love. Christianity began to make love concrete and real- not an airy bliss but a solid foundation for my life. All other attempts at such "foundations" had failed. I used to believe my spiritual teachers could act as clear or clearer mirrors for me, but Jesus is the clearest mirror there is. He's the only one safe to be trusted.

Everything he did in life was to give to me and you. He didn't help us for material profit. He taught us how to sanctify suffering, not to avoid it. Yes, even suffering can be sacred. Through this, I've learned more meaningful ways to view emotions I once avoided.

Seeking God can take many faces and phases. I don't believe if you don't agree with me you're going to hell. I only wanted to share my story.