I will confuse everyone as much as
possible. Make it absolutely wrong to call anything wrong. That way,
all the people will do evil all day and not see anything wrong with
it. Convince everyone that “right” and “wrong” are all based
on opinions, unless you're breaking the law.
I will convince the world that
listening to their conscience is the worst thing they can ever do,
because the conscience is nothing but programming designed to screw
them out of pleasure in life and a smart person wants to feel good
and not suffer.
Are fear, guilt, shame and
suffering The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? Oh, no, not MY
apocalypse. I will lull the world to sleep with happy melodies and
sweet comforts. That way, they are putty in my hands. Don't think,
sweet children. Don't ever feel bad. Feel good at all costs. It will
cost you plenty, but it's worth it. Only help others if it makes you
feel good yourself.
Jesus told Peter, “Get behind
me, Satan,” when Peter expressed that he wanted to save Jesus from
suffering. I say, Peter should have been assertive and said, “No,
Jesus, I cannot let you be a masochist. Your sacrifice is needless,
since human beings have never done anything wrong.”
Repeat after me, my sweet
children, “You have never done anything wrong. You can never do
anything wrong. Just don't tell anyone they are wrong, and all will
be well.”
Do exactly what I say and you will
not be responsible for any of your actions. So, you will be
absolutely fine if there is some sort of cosmic “judgment,”
which of course, we know will never happen, since God never judges
anyone. Three things make you who you are: genes, your environment
and my amazing guidance which will end all suffering in your life
and make you rich, famous and successful.
Has everyone learned their lessons
for today? Don't worry if you didn't understand it all. I will
disseminate my teachings throughout international media, through
television, film, magazines, popular books and the internet. You'll
be bombarded thousands of times a day with opportunities to embrace
the truth.
By the way, I really won't destroy
the world. I will only destroy the things that make your world an
unhappy place. People who don't agree with you. People who offend
you.
Now, let yourself relax into sweet
surrender.. to Yourself. Go ahead, everyone, become God in yourself.
Feels good, huh?
If none of the above steps lead to
my success, I will have a sex change operation to become the Prince
of Evil, and try it all over again.
